The union stays strong!

A grey-haired white dude is YOUR AMERICAN IDOL. Let us all say AMEN… Not only does the union stay strong but American Idol as we know it is finished. Taylor Hicks is the most “unholy” of American Idol picks. An aberration. A freak. A BLUE-EYED SOUL BRUTHA! Never in a gazillion years would I’ve imagined a BLUE-EYED SOUL BRUTHA winning. Not a white dude trying to sing like a black dude. But a genuine BLUE-EYED SOUL BRUTHA (you tired of me saying that?). American Idol will have to re-tool to bring back some normalcy. Gone are Randy, Simon, and Paula. In are Celine Dion (Paula), Donny Osmond (Randy), and RuPaul (Simon). Hot baby hot! Contestants will have to look FABULOUS and be able to “work it” (RuPaul’s influence), be emotionally endearing (Celine’s influence), and just be a swell ol’ human and corny (Donny’s influence). We’ll end up with an American Idol so slick, commerical, emotional, and swell that we’ll want to stab ourselves in the eyes with Aquafina bottles.

Happy happy! Joy joy!

UPDATE!

Dean calls him a southern-fried soul artist. HMM! Add some biscuits n’ gravy (two black female backup singers for you regular folks) and Taylor will assume mythic status!

One Response to “The union stays strong!”

1. Enigma says:

   June 3, 2006 at 6:19 pm

   damn i could use me some fried chicken and biscuits. no no cornbread. hot damn! i b hungry.

   all the winners have been from the south right? when you think of it all the winners, except the country chick, won and did great singing soul songs. i was actually surprised kelly has been so alt-pop-rock. none of her songs have had an ounce of r&b in them. surprising coming from the girl who put her foot up in “natural woman”.