The All N’ All known as Polling

Sometimes I take a slice of bread and butter both sides. I then pick up the bread and eat it. After I’m done I notice how much butter is on my hands since I buttered both sides. The lesson? Spread double butter on one side so it tastes the same as the bread buttered on both sides.

After that nugget of nonsensical wisdom, I give you this:

US 13-year-olds are fairly conservative: Time poll

WASHINGTON (AFP) - It might surprise their parents, but in the age of graphic lyrics and violent video games, American children entering their teens remain very cautious about sex and dating and still trust their parents and church.

In a story on the lives and thinking of American 13-year-olds, Time magazine reports that sixty percent of the 500 surveyed by the magazine are against sex before marriage, and 63 percent believe they are too young to date at their age.

The 21-page cover feature characterizes kids at 13 as “backstage adults” in a particularly precarious formative period.

“It is the age of childhood leaning forward and adulthood holding back, when the world gets suddenly closer, the colors more vivid, the rules subject to never ending argument,” writes Time editor Nancy Gibbs.

If anything is surprising in Time’s feature, it is how normal and conservative — in a day of provocative music videos, widespread Internet access, and lurid cable television shows — today’s 13 year olds are.

Nine out of ten of those polled on line by the magazine said their relationship with their parents is good or excellent, and only seven percent said their parents were too strict.

Now on the surface, this story may seem oh so thoughtworthy. But after reading one particular paragraph in that article I immediately gave it the gas face:

In a story on the lives and thinking of American 13-year-olds, Time magazine reports that sixty percent of the 500 surveyed by the magazine are against sex before marriage, and 63 percent believe they are too young to date at their age.

500 13 year olds surveyed. And the title of the article is US 13-year-olds are fairly conservative: Time poll. HMMM! I get it! Polling is the can all, be all, and all knowing. Those 500 13 year olds surveyed really represent ALL 13 YEARS OLDS completely and accurately. Yes my dear blog readers. Polling makes every small group the group. And frankly, we mere mortals shouldn’t argue. Since polling is so scientific and so accurate and has so many learned people working them. As the valley girl used to say… GAG ME WITH A SPOON!

As for the subject matter of the article, two words: totally uncool.

One Response to “The All N’ All known as Polling”

1. David Anderson says:

   August 1, 2005 at 12:30 am

   Just thought I would drop by and give you a shout my Brother. And the poll is bullshit. My son is 13, and he is as Progressive as his old man.